Has ET Phoned Home ?

There has been quite a bit of buzz on the Internet about a National Security Agency document which implies that the NSA intercepted, and deciphered, signals from an extraterrestrial source. The fact that the document is located on the NSA's website makes the story a bit more intriguing than the typical UFO stories that we are inundated with on a daily basis. UFO believers have been quick to point to the document as proof that extraterrestrials exist and the government has known about them for decades. Although I believe that the universe is so vast that it is probably teeming with life, I'm not so sure that this document is the bombshell that others make it out to be.

First of all, the document in question was allegedly published in the NSA's Technical Journal. Many government agencies publish these types of documents, both classified and unclassified, to share information within their confines and with other external agencies. The document refers to an earlier volume of the Technical Journal, which is not shown, and herein may be the answer to the question. It is entirely possible that the code in question was merely an exercise or contest put out by the agency for its code breakers to solve, perhaps on the page after the one announcing who was bringing potato salad to the next agency picnic. For those that see this as implausible, take a look at the code sculpture that has been a focus of interest at the CIA's headquarters since 1988.

A Day at the Ball Yard

I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm getting old. I turned 44 years old in March and am starting to see the symptoms that I am basically at the mid point of my life- creaking knees in the morning, an ever expanding waist line and, most surprisingly, a new affinity for baseball.

When I was kid growing up I occasionally went to a Pirates game with my dad and was usually bored silly by the second inning. While my dad would watch games on television, and listen to them on the radio while working in the garage or the back yard, my attention span was limited to asking what the score was and then moving on to something more interesting. Even during the glory days of the 1970's when the Pirates won two World Series, my commitment to the team never went beyond collecting the occasional baseball card. I just couldn't see the fun in watching a game on a sunny day when you could be playing baseball or run-down with your buddies in the neighborhood.

Over the past couple of years, a strange thing started to happen. It began gradually as I tuned in to watch entire games on the television and listen to them on the radio in the car. While I usually went to only one or two Pirate games a year, my attendance suddenly skyrocketed to three or four games despite the fact that the team was working hard on an 18 year losing streak of record proportions. I concluded something had indeed gone horribly wrong as I caught myself checking game box scores on a daily basis and worrying about the performance of individual players.

My first game this year was a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon. I took this picture from my seats (I invested in a 5 game package this year) looking down the first base line. No, this picture was not taken long before or after the game, it was taken in the sixth inning. Note the preponderance of empty seats vs. the scattered attendees (there were around 4,000 people at the game so the stadium was about 10 % full.) The game was against the Washington Nationals (we lost, of course) and in all fairness to the Pirates it was Easter Sunday so that could have affected attendance a bit.

Despite the loss, it was a nice afternoon out and it occurred to me that I really have never had a bad experience at a Pirates game. The fans were mostly comprised of families, nobody was drunk and out of control and the Nationals fans in attendance were at worst politely ignored. Contrasting this to the "Mad Max" atmosphere at Steelers games and the beer fueled youth at Penguins games only made me appreciate it more. A teenager caught a foul popped into our section and then promptly walked down the steps to hand it to a little kid sitting with his parents. Along with the 6 or so other people in my part of the stadium, we gave him a polite round of applause for a very classy move.

Perhaps this was the key to my new found love of baseball- I am simply getting old and crotchety and completely intolerant of the drunken escapades witnessed at other sporting events. Sitting in PNC Park watching the Pirates lose on a Spring afternoon was far more appealing to me than freezing my ass off in Heinz Field and watching the Steelers win. I closed my eyes for a moment of Buddhist mindfulness and enjoyed the moment- the birds singing, the crack of the bat and braying of the men selling beer and popcorn. I think I've found a home for the next 40 years.

I'm in a Maine State of Mind

Rush hour commuting is always painful, especially on Mondays, and particularly awful on rainy Monday mornings. I boarded the train this morning with a dozen of my fellow wage slaves for the slog into Pittsburgh, downtrodden commuters pushing ear buds in, burying their faces in their papers and steeling themselves for another day at work. I was particularly depressed because although I was commuting to work in Pittsburgh, I was deeply in a Maine State of mind.

You see, less than 48 hours earlier I had been sitting on the edge of the pond where our family home is located, enjoying sunsets such as the one I snapped to the left. Days were spent working on the house, and getting it ready for winter, but you really can't call it work when the loons were singing, ducks were quacking and a large golden eagle meandered down the lake looking for something to eat. Throw in a lovesick bull moose calling forlornly for a girlfriend, and it was a relaxing week to say the least. No cell phone reception, no phone in fact, no television or internet- just a quietly burning fire, the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore and the haunting cries of the resident loons. I gamely took a bag of books to read, and ended up reading none of them because I was in bed asleep around 8 pm every night. Up early for breakfast and then endless, but enjoyable, hours of scraping old paint, adding new and getting the plumbing system drained and ready for the brutal Maine winter to come.

I felt sorry for my fellow passengers this morning. At least I have such a place to reset my soul once in awhile. The deep quiet of the north woods makes you realize just how completely we complicate our lives with 24 x 7 cable news, I Phones and all of the other accoutrement's of life today. It is a good thing to unplug and enjoy the simple joys of a sunny day, the incredible colors of autumn (which is a good month ahead in Maine,) a quiet paddle in a canoe and the entertainment provided by the local wildlife. I browsed through the pictures on my phone repeatedly with a smile on my face, completely oblivious that we were nearing my stop. I quietly packed up my gear and headed out into the madness of the city streets.

The Little Grape of Wrath

I started getting a sore throat over the weekend but it didn't seem like a big deal. The kids are back at school and have been fighting colds with their classmates, and I thought it would just run its course and go away. Yesterday at work, I noticed that I seemed to be breaking out in cold sweats, chills and was having trouble swallowing- on top of that I was short of breath. I work at a job that keeps me moving on my feet all day long, so the shortness of breath was the thing that started to worry me. Not wanting to take any chances with what I thought was strep throat, or even worse the big heart attack I keep warning the kids they are pushing me towards, I decided it was time to go to the local Med Express.

I don't know if you have these types of establishments where you live but I think they are the greatest invention since canned beer and sliced bread. Instead of calling your regular physician, and hoping they can squeeze you in the during the next 8 to 12 months, you simply walk in these places, tell them what's wrong and get seen in a matter of minutes. My doctor is a great guy who I really like but I limit my visits to him to stuff like routine physicals- I have no doubt I could call him with a collapsed lung, or partially amputated arm, and his receptionist would ask if I could hold off coming in until 2011.

Like most incidents of adversity, whether great or small like this one, I even had a brief moment to quietly meditate on some Buddhist mindfulness. In this case, because the reception area was extremely busy and noisy, I simply closed my eyes for a minute and reflected on how fortunate I was to have access to excellent medical care when compared to the vast majority of souls on this planet. No matter what the problem was, I was confident I would be quickly patched up and back out the door.

The doctor took a look in my mouth, said something like "hmmmm", took another look and furrowed her brow. "Have you had any trouble breathing ?," yes I replied, "well typically you would want to go the ER at the hospital for something like this." It seems I had a raging case of Uvulitis (the Uvula is the little thingy that hangs from the roof your mouth at the entrance to your throat and means "little grape" at least according to Wikipedia) and it was so swollen it was partially blocking my ability to breath and swallow- which would account for me drooling all over my shirt at lunch. So, I got a shot of steroids in the butt to take down the swelling, some more oral antibiotics and steroids and was sent home with strict orders to go to the hospital if I couldn't breath- sarcasm obviously not being part of the medical school curriculum I just kept my reply to myself and headed for the door.

Send in the Clowns

The recent debate over the proposed mosque/cultural center near Ground Zero in New York City has made me even more pessimistic about the future of this country- if that's possible. My anger over the issue has nothing to do with the proposed plans but rather with the political circus that we have been subjected to.

After seeing President Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich babbling all weekend on television I'm seriously confused how a country of over 250 million people can claim that our best and brightest are our leaders. Seriously, we are not talking about the varsity here. Americans are some of the brightest, hardest working, inventive people on this planet yet our elected leadership would be hard pressed to run the midnight shift at a Waffle House if they actually had to work for a living.

The arguments for and against the proposed building are not easily defined by party lines. Rather, like most things in politics they are based upon political survival and opportunism. President Obama did his usual routine of coming out with a statement (in support) and then back-pedaling in follow up statements to further define what he thought the public actually wants to hear. Harry Reid, who as a Mormon should know a little bit about religious bigotry, came out against the plan because he is in a dogfight for his job in the upcoming elections. Nancy Pelosi, never missing the opportunity to get her mug on television, is of course calling for investigations. On the right wing, like two vampires that just won't go away, we are treated to Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich jabbering away with their usual jingoistic garbage.

Newt Gingrich ? Is this the best that the Republicans can dredge up ? Sorry, but the guy turns my stomach. The same guy that had an affair while married to his first wife, dumped her and married the mistress, then had another affair, dumped the ex-mistress turned wife and married the mistress (I think I have that right, either way its giving me a headache.) At the same time he was running around with his pants around his ankles he was leading the impeachment charge against fellow reprobate Bill Clinton. Like the masochist that I am I often listen to Sean Hannity on the way home from work. Gingrich is a frequent target of Hannity's ass smooching as he refers to him as "Mr. Speaker" and hangs on his every word as he discusses his latest worthless book. Now that he is on satellite radio, I wouldn't be surprised if actual on air fellatio is in the offing.

The November elections are not going to change the course of this country. The expected landslide will only replace a bunch of worthless Democrats with a bunch of worthless Republicans. Real change would involve frog marching both houses of congress to Lafayette Square, pelting them with rotten garbage and then running them out of town with bayonets. Next, randomly replace every member of Congress with citizens chosen by lottery. Silly you say ? Many attorneys I know marvel at the conscientious service given by juries comprised of every facet of our society which are chosen in exactly the same manner. I seriously doubt they could do any worse.

Building the Prisons to House Ourselves

After reading a recent article in The Economist about the high rate of imprisonment in the U.S., I looked up an essay written by a Federal judge that was referenced in the article. In the essay entitled "You're (Probably) a Federal Criminal," Judge Alex Kozinski confirmed something that I have suspected for many years- an unholy alliance of out of control politicians, judges and a populace screaming of justice has created a vast labyrinth of Federal regulations that many of us probably break on a regular basis without even realizing it. The maze of Federal regulations is so dense and vast that a team of researchers from the Congressional Research Service gave up trying to count the number of separate offences currently on the books.

Federal regulations permeate everything we do in the modern world- the materials in our homes and cars, the paints, soaps and solvents we use, the food we eat, our ATM cards and bank accounts, our jobs and businesses etc. Like an immense fishing net, it is a fair bet that at some point you broke a Federal statute that could have landed you in the big house. While it is unlikely that you would ever be prosecuted for these transgressions, the real danger is when they effectively pile on one of our fellow citizens. In one of his examples from his essay, Kozinski notes how businessmen bringing lobsters into the U.S. using the incorrect type of shipping containers, soon found themselves in deeper trouble as money laundering charges were tacked on (they put the money in the bank, thus triggering Federal banking laws.)Any minor Federal violation, coupled with banking or mail fraud, can quickly escalate into serious prison time.

Who do we blame for this mess ? I'm afraid its every one's fault- left and right, Democrat and Republican, conservative and liberal. I suppose Anarchists can't be blamed since we have been calling the system rubbish for many years, but I digress. Right wing politicians and judges who want to appear tough on crime have caved into their constituencies by increasing penalties, adopting three strikes regulations and calling for ever greater regulation. On the left, the environmental movement (among others) realized some time ago that they could make their policies much more effective by adding the threat of the Federal stick to their carrot. The net result is a massive Federal bureaucracy built to support Leviathan- clerks, agents, judges and staff, field investigators etc. that are wholly dependent upon the system staying just the way it is.

Next time you hear a politician ranting about how they are going to make you safer by stiffening penalties, or environmentalists calling for oil company executives to be thrown in the slammer, ask yourself how punishing others effectively chips away at your own freedoms. I fear that it will be too late when we realize that building more prisons to house "them" was effectively done to house "us."

How a truck restored my faith in America.

I drove down to a friend's ranch in Texas last week for a get together of former and current Army Rangers. I had a great time, as I always do around other Rangers, and enjoyed the camraderie, Texas barbeque, beer and lots of stories. At the end of the gathering, I followed a buddy who needed to drive an Army 2 1/2 ton truck (affectionately known to generations of soldiers as a "Deuce and a half") he had recently bought at government auction to Dallas. The purpose of getting to Dallas was to leave the truck with a company that would transport it to his home in the northeast. I was following him as a support vehicle in case he broke down (which was a definite possibility as the truck was nearly 40 years old) and because it didn't have a license plate etc.

We plotted a course on backroads to avoid highway patrols on the busy Memorial Day weekend and slowly worked our way north for the next nine or so hours. Taking the back roads always makes your journey slower, but much richer in terms of actually seeing the towns and people along the route. Since I had never really been around much of Texas, it was a real treat to see the change in elevation and terrain as we headed out from the flat and desert like south, through the hill country and up to Dallas.

About 30 minutes into our journey, we got our first wave. A big semi truck came roaring towards us in the opposite lane and the driver waved with a big smile on his face. A few minutes later, another car came towards us with the same result. Wow, I thought, people in Texas are sure friendly ! It then dawned on me- they weren't waving at our ugly mugs, they were waving at the truck. It was the first of literally hundreds of waves and smiles that we saw during the rest of our trip. Even the policemen we saw (which easily could have busted us for the truck not having brake lights, turn signals etc.) just laughed and waved as the beast rolled through their towns. The best part of the trip for me was when we passed a retirement home and a couple of elderly gentlemen absolutely beamed as the truck roared past. My guess was that they were veterans and the old truck stirred some memories of far away places and the time when they were young, strong and old age seemed impossibly far in the future.

Spending 9 hours in the car behind gave me plenty of time to think. How could a 40 year old truck built for war, bring so much pleasure to so many people ? Since it was Memorial Day they probably thought we were coming or going to a parade but I guess in our own way, it was a parade of one. I spoke to the owner about the truck and how many of these vehicles are just scrapped. I was really glad that he had bought it and was going to restore it to its former glory. The people weren't just waving at a truck, they were subconciously waving at the generations of soldiers that drove the truck and paying homage to their service and sacrfice. For veterans, I'm sure the truck stirred memories of war but also some of the good memories that they carried from their service- the lifelong friendships and brotherhood, the sense of honor, duty and loyalty to each other.

The truck triggered good memories for good people. Good, honest hard-working Americans that we passed just stopped in their tracks and smiled- toddlers, kids, grown men and the elderly. We passed everything from palatial multi-million dollar ranches to small shacks with a couple of goats and a cow in the front yard. They were all scraping out a living in an unhospitable climate through hard work and sacrifice. It just reinforced to me that it isn't the government that makes up this country, its the people like the ones that we passed.

After our journey, we dropped the truck off. I know it's just a piece of equipment, but I swore that it looked like it was smiling. Maybe it was just the 103 degree heat. Then again, maybe it really was.

Prohibition & the poisoning of American citizens.

For all of you that feel my misgivings about the government are paranoid and unfounded, here's an eye-opening article from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette that relates how the U.S. government was responsible for the deaths of over 10,000 citizens during Prohibition.

From the article-

"Doctors were accustomed to alcohol poisoning by then, a routine of life in the Prohibition era. The bootlegged whiskies and so-called gins often made people sick. The liquor produced in hidden stills frequently came tainted with metals and other impurities. But this outbreak was bizarrely different. The deaths, as investigators would shortly realize, came courtesy of the U.S. government."

But that was then, this is now you argue. Well, the size, scope and power of the current federal government dwarfs its former self in the 1920's. It has permeated the daily lives of all of us in a myriad of ways, it watches us, it tracks us and it confiscates the fruits of our labors at the barrel of a gun. Every aspect of our daily lives is regulated by faceless bureaucrats in Washington D.C.- what we buy, the cars we drive, the jobs we toil at to pay our masters- at what point do we collectively stand up and shout "enough ?"

The government will continue to kill in the same oblique manner as it did in the 1920's though it will now do it through the massive bureaucracy of the new health care programs, the push for smaller less crash resistant vehicles and a variety of other new regulations headed for all of us. Always remember that Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot and every other power mad nut case in history could only achieve their evil goals with the assistance of large, well run, fed and funded bureaucracies- just like the one we have now. All it needs is the right psychotic to throw the switch.

When the zoo drops you, you know you're in trouble.

In a further sign of his sagging popularity, the Pittsburgh Zoo has replaced a graphic of Ben Roethlisberger with one of Penguin great Mario Lemieux. Also, the Pittsburgh Post Gazette reports that he will be undergoing a battery of tests to try and figure out what is going on inside his head-

'The goal is to determine the extent to which Mr. Roethlisberger's violation of the league's Personal Conduct Policy during a night of bar-hopping in Milledgeville, Ga., was attributable to some underlying psychological, behavioral or neuropsychological disorder, and to map out a plan for intervention, psychologists say."

I'm glad the experts are on it- I just thought he was a self-absorbed asshole with a massive sense of entitlement.

Big Ben & The Court of Public Opinion

Although Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was recently cleared of sexual assault charges by the District Attorney in Ocmulgee County, Georgia, he may be facing a much tougher group of prosecutors as time goes on- the court of public opinion among Steelers fans. Slowly, but surely, I am beginning to see a chorus of voices in blogs, articles and article comments in the Pittsburgh area that are debating what the ultimate outcome of his actions should be- keep him, trade him or even cut him.

Two of the largest pro-Ben groups in the past few years have been women and children. Women wearing # 7 jerseys at Steelers games were a very common sight as they showed their support for this young handsome mega-star with millions in the bank and athletic talent to burn. I'm not a psychologist, but I think there was a good deal of post-adolescent high-school quarterback type crushes going on in the 'Burgh. Naturally, these women that had children passed this adulation on to their kids and little # 7 jerseys began springing up all over the place (my house included.) Big, strong, clean-cut and seemingly pious (if praying and gesturing to the heavens during games was any indication) who wouldn't want their little rugheads to look up to Big Ben ?

Well, hell hath no fury like a bunch of pissed off women. Big Ben's first mistake, a motorcycle crash without a helmet or motorcycle license, was passed off as unfortunate but nothing more than a youthful screw up. Strike two, sexual assault allegations in a civil suit, unnerved many of his followers but it could be dismissed, they asserted, due to the financial angle of the plaintiff and the "he said, she said" aspects of the case. Unfortunately for her, the plaintiff did not cut a very sympathetic figure. Strike three, however, was a too much for even the hardiest yinzer to bear- the creepy predatory nature of the charges, the sense of entitlement, the role of the bodyguards (one an off duty state trooper,) and the pattern of events that, unfortunately, seemed to have been practiced before. Moms who once sported pink Big Ben jerseys on their young daughters were now forced to think about their own kids being caught in the same situation.

Already, groups have begun campaigns to mail his jerseys back to the Steelers, and in some cases, fans are actually burning and disposing of them. Even Steelers fans, it seems, can only tolerate so much loutish, frat boy behavior.

"Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son"

As I mentioned in an earlier post, 21 year old Matthew Clemmens (pictured above) allegedly vomitted on an 11 year old girl at a recent Philadelphia Phillies baseball game. (Editors Note- Yes, I know it seems redundant to mention that it was a baseball game but this blog now has international readers. Anyways, on with the story.) Inevitably, numerous follow-up articles are now coming forward including a defense of Matthew from his uncle. I can certainly understand family loyalty, but the defense offered by John Gonzalez of the Philadelphia Inquirer is a little harder to, errr, choke down. Mr. Gonzalez points out the massive media conspiracy that has labeled Philadelphia fans as boorish animals more interested in drinking and fighting than actually watching the game-

As we all know, Philadelphia has a reputation for harboring and enabling lawless savages masquerading as fans. The Clemmens arrest only added to that stereotype and allowed lazy, brainless outsiders to lump us all together thanks to the sins of a single cretin.

As the old saying goes, within every stereotype lies a grain of truth.

Mr. Gonzalez's defense of the Phillies and their fans sounds a bit like the excuses offered in 2009 after a fan was beaten to death following a game in Philadelphia-

"The vast majority of fans act well at games, act well outside of games. And are cordial with opposing fans, but it's a select group of knuckleheads that take it a little too far and then give the whole city of Philadelphia a bad name."

At what point do the excuses stop ?

I'm sure that life has become a living hell for Matthew Clemmens and I hope that this incident causes him to take a hard look at himself. That being said, if it wasn't Matthew becoming the poster child for barbaric behavior in the stands, it would be some other lost soul at some point doing something equally stupid. Although personal behavior and accountability are the issue here, we can't discount the Animal House atmosphere at many professional sports venues these days. The free for all, alcohol fueled atmosphere fosters and nurtures this type of behavior.

I don't know if some sociologist will ever do a study, but I just can't remember going to baseball games in my youth and seeing people tailgating in the parking lots. Sure, some people may have had a grill going and were enjoying a few pre-game brews, but nothing like the binge drinking frat boy free for all that you need to navigate on the way into the stadium. I'll say again that this problem is not just present in Philadelphia- it has spread to many other towns and sports.

Then again, is it really a big societal problem or am I just getting old ? Perhaps a bit of both.

Among the Barbarians

Setting a new low for classless Philadelphia sports fan behavior (an incredible feat needless to say) 21 year old Matthew Clemmens allegedly (intentionally) vomited on an 11 year old girl at a recent Phillies game. Although the report does not say the reason for the spew attack, it can be inferred that the young girl committed the horrible crime of actually wearing another team's jersey to the game. The girl's father mentioned that they were sworn at before the incident and had beer thrown on them causing the young kid to cry- something that all parents reading this blog can understand would be a really painful thing to see. Fortunately for the offender, the girl's father (a tough looking police captain) didn't beat the living hell out of him although his mug shot does show him sporting a nice shiner.

Well, you say, that wouldn't happen in a great city with a great sports tradition such as....Pittsburgh ! Oh nay, nay. It does happen and I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen to such an extent at Steelers games that after many years of buying 3 or 4 games a year off of a friend, I am sitting this season out. I'm sick and tired of trying to go to a game and having to endure thousands of blind drunk "fans" hurling obscenities at the opposing team and fans, their own team and each other. I'm revolted by the parking lot tailgating scene that is starting to look like something out of "Mad Max" with rampant binge drinking, vomiting and fighting. I made the mistake of taking my 9 year old to the Steelers-Oakland game last season and instead of enjoying an afternoon out, was forced to explain why otherwise responsible people feel the need to get drunk out of their minds in order to watch a game.

Now look, I'm by no means a priss. I like to drink beer when I'm at sporting events (before, during and after) and enjoy hanging out with my buddies as we enjoy the ups and downs of our local teams. Having a mild buzz and sitting in the stadium or arena can be an enjoyable experience. What I don't get, however, is how people can pay a great deal of money to buy their tickets so they can get blasted in the parking lot and pass out in their seats. A more logical plan would seem to be save the money, get blasted at home and pass out on your couch but, hey, who am I to judge ?

The other problem at sporting events, particularly Steelers games, is the underlying nasty vibe that you get (even if you are wearing Steelers gear.) The crowd seems very edgy, very drunk and in need of just one little spark to completely lose it. On many occasions I've bumped into a member of the Steelers nation, said "sorry" or "excuse me" and been met with the classic "fuck you" hissed through beer sodden lips. I've seen fist fights break out over people having their feet stepped on, cutting the line at the bathroom (because they badly need to get rid of that 6 gallons they drank in the parking lot) and reacting to insults real and perceived. Something about putting on a Steelers jersey and drinking heavily before noon can turn a nerdy bank vice president into a raving lunatic ready to fight anyone, and everyone, that gets in his way.

So, I'm sitting this one out. I'm tired of worrying about getting punched, kicked or shoved while trying to actually watch the game. In fact, I'm so tired of Steelers nation that I'm not even going to watch them on television. Screw 'em, the team and their fans have become a damned disgrace. No more hero worship for women beaters and sexual predators. You want me back in your stadium ? Clean up your act. You can start by cutting a few big names on your team. Next, reign in the zoo in the parking lot and quit quietly looking the other way at underage binge drinking, public exposure and drunk driving. Pull season ticket holder's tickets if anyone using theirs gets out of line and make them pay a fine of $5,000 to get them back with money going to charity. Do these things and I might just come back. Maybe.

Happy April 15th

Movie Review- Hot Tub Time Machine

I fondly remember the 80's. For me, it was the decade in which I entered my teens and enjoyed all kinds of new experiences- driving for the first time, high school, prom, joining the Army and going to college. These ten formative years also encompassed many important firsts in my life- first time I got laid, first time I almost died of alcohol poisoning, first time in a strip bar, first time I woke up drunk in the bushes beneath a Holiday Inn sign....well, you get the point. The 1980's covered by life from age 13 through 23 and looking back with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, were some pretty damn fun years. No responsibilities, at least until I was in the Army, then no responsibilities right after that when I went to college besides dragging my ass into class at the crack of noon.

Since I heard that Hot Tub Time Machine was based on a group of friends travelling back into time to this most holy of decades, I persuaded my wife to go see it on our first night out without kids in about 50 odd years. It was crude, sophmoric, obnoxious, juvenile and really, really funny. We both enjoyed it immensely from wardrobe nods to the neon clothing of the 80's to the soundtrack that made me drift back to days of yore. Hearing "Safety Dance" at one point in the movie brought back a wave of nostalgia that is probably similar to a Woodstock veteran hearing "Purple Haze." John Cusack and Craig Robinson were excellent as two of the three friends but it was Rob Corddry as Lou, the semi-suicidal alcoholic manic depressive who steals the show. In a line that all guys loyal to their idiot friends will understand, Cusack and Robinson describe Lou as "he may be an asshole- but he's our asshole."

All in all, a good film. Next time I go to the movies (probably around 2025) I'll post another review.

RIP Upper Big Branch Miners

A good piece from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette regarding the recent mine disaster in West Virginia and the public perception of miners and the mining industry. The author is correct that it only seems when disaster strikes that the public appreciates the sacrifice of miners, their communities and families. Like many other poor states that are rich in natural resources, West Virginia, and Appalachia in general, has been raped for generations by greedy corporations that have scarred the land and exploited the populace as labor for this incredibly dangerous profession. Like the very coal itself, the profits of their labor has been exported away from their communities and enjoyed instead in far away places like Wall Street. If you can find a copy, I highly recommend viewing Harlan County USA, an excellent film on the 1973 miners strike in Harlan, Kentucky to put it all into perspective.

Gary Hart, Former U.S. Senator, Commenting on Anger against the Government.

Gary Hart, former Democratic Senator, seen at left with his girlfriend Donna Rice (actually, that would be officially his mistress since he was married at the time,) opines in his blog about the anger driving tea partiers, anarchists and other assorted malcontents. Try to look past the irony of the blog's title "Matters of Principle" while looking at the picture of Mr. Hart and Ms. Rice relaxing on his yacht "Monkey Business" back in the mid 80's.

"Looking on from the outside, anger seems to be the glue holding together anarchists, libertarians, conservatives of various kinds, and groups harboring complex grievances."

Whew, I'm glad to see that liberals and progressives aren't angry- it must be because they have a deeper understanding of reality than we common troglodytes. Gary Hart cannot fathom anger against the government because he was part of it and it is part of his DNA. He can feign loathing of the government, lobbyists and bankers all he wants but he was a product of the system. It created him and it still sustains him through his academic position at the University of Colorado-Denver. Sorry, but I refuse to buy the whole anti-establishment vibe from a Yale educated attorney who is also a member of the Council on Foreign Relations.

"Let’s get one thing straight: the president and members of Congress are elected by the people of the United States. If you don’t like that, there are lots of other countries where this is not the case."

The oldest argument in the book- America, love it or leave it. First touted by Nixon republicans screaming at hippies, now touted by Obama democrats screaming at anyone that disagrees with them. Hey, marital infidelity is accepted in lots of other countries, why are you still here ?

"If you are angry at Barack Obama, or any member of Congress, you are angry at your fellow citizens who voted for them."

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. I am pissed off that a junior senator with minimal experience was anointed by the national media as the saviour of this country. I am even more pissed off that he is doubling down on Bush's' expansion of the federal government, bureaucracy, debt and deficit. I am, however, equal opportunity in my anger at my fellow citizens- anyone, or any party, that participates and buys into this system is equally insane in my opinion.

"But if this anger is something else, let’s say bitterness at a black couple in the White House, or women being more equal, or medical care for poor children, or efforts to create a more decent and humane society, then there is little we can talk about."

Oh for God's sake, here we go. Turning the argument against the opposition by labeling them as racists, or worse. (Side note- I'm reading a new biography on Mao. This sounds eerily like it came out of his playbook. Anyways, back to the article.) This anger isn't about the fact that there is a black couple in the White House, or women, or medical care you nitwit- it's about the exponential expansion of the federal government, the resources that it consumes and the self-perpetuating nature of the embedded bureaucracy. It's about the erosion of citizen's rights in this country done in the name of the war on terror, the blackmail of states by federal withholding of funds (contributed by their citizens) and the arrogance of power demonstrated by elected officials who serve for personal power rather than to serve the people.

Come on Gary, admit why you are really pissed- you got caught with a nice piece of ass, lost your shot at being President and you have been looking in from the outside ever since.

Anarchists vs. Tea Partiers

Apparently some members of the anarchist community are planning counter-protests against the tea party movement on April 15th. Whether or not this event will be broadcast on pay per view remains to be seen.

I don't personally know any tea party members but from what I've read they seem like reasonable people who are completely fed up with the enormity and expense of the U.S. government. That being said, it's hard to take a group seriously that supports an airhead like Sarah Palin, the Barbie doll darling of the Republican party, or receives so much positive coverage from blithering idiots like Sean Hannity. Still, the fact that the Democrats are playing the straw-man of racism, militia violence and every other tired argument they drag out when threatened seems to indicate that they are making some impact on national politics.

The real winner in any tea party-anarchist clash would be, of course, the same government that both groups fundamentally oppose. The tea partiers will be portrayed by the left as crazy, radical racists who want to return the U.S. to the good old days of 1850. The anarchists will be portrayed by the right as subversive terrorists bent on destroying mom, apple pie and what remains of Chevrolet. Sitting in the middle will be the same smug ruling class that benefits no matter which group cracks more heads on April 15th.

Hey knuckleheads, wake up. Your enemy isn't the group across the street, it's the one residing in Washington D.C.

Majority say government is a threat to their rights.

"Washington (CNN) – A majority of Americans think the federal government poses a threat to rights of Americans, according to a new national poll."

"Fifty-six percent of people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Friday say they think the federal government's become so large and powerful that it poses an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens. Forty-four percent of those polled disagree."

Over the past few years, I have come to see the situation in this country less as right vs. left, republican vs. democrat, liberal vs. conservative etc. Instead, I began to see the real struggle of us. vs. them.

"Us" is comprised of the vast majority of Americans that get up everyday, work hard, take care of their families and do their best to make an honest life. "Them" is comprised of the bloated ranks of government bureaucrats, power hungry politicians (of all parties) who reward their banker buddies and feed at the trough of our confiscatory tax system. "Them" has remained in power by dividing and exploiting "Us" along political, economic and racial divides, keeping us blissfully unaware of the amount of power that they have quietly accumulated at our expense. Perhaps they have finally overplayed their hand, gone too far to the point where even the silent masses have awakened from their deep slumber. We can only hope so.

Survival Tips- Cold Weather Disasters

As I said in my last post, I wanted to share some of my ideas on preparedness for natural or man-made disasters. Just a little bit of prudent planning can pay huge dividends in terms or enduring a disaster in relative comfort and safety versus panic and anxiety.

The good thing about cold weather disasters is that the natural ones that occur are usually predicted sometime in advance. Blizzards and ice storms rarely sneak up on a community and you will typically have 72 hours (or more) warning time. Man made disasters (such as a terrorist attack on a power system during the winter) are far more unlikely and obviously wouldn't be accompanied by a warning. So, once you hear that the mother of all snowstorms is about to bury your town, you will probably have plenty of time to dust off the old survival kit and make sure you have everything you need.

My disaster kit is broken down into categories. Some of the items are packed in Rubbermaid tubs and simply stored in my workshop. Other items are in the house and are used for other activities (such as sleeping bags.) I keep a notebook which lists all of the items in each category and the number of the items. This helps in planning without having to dig everything out.

Illumination- Living in the dark sucks, living in the cold dark really sucks. Items for illumination not only help you navigate your now dark house and property, they also provide necessary comfort and reassurance, especially for children. I have in my kit-

• Maglite flashlight with spare batteries for each occupant.


• 2 dozen chemlights (glowsticks.)


• 2 disaster candles.


• 500 waterproof matches.


• 1 battery powered camping lantern with spare batteries.

Food and Water- High protein food including some with plenty of fat are best for riding out a winter storm. Remember, we are assuming that the primary source of heat in your house or apartment is not operating and that temperatures inside may easily fall below freezing after 18 to 24 hours. When temperatures fall, your body starts working harder to stay warm and your caloric needs increase dramatically. Also, it is not uncommon for public water to become unsafe to drink because electric pumps may fail at the utility company. It is very easy to become dehydrated in a cold weather situation especially if you are exerting yourself in terms of clearing snow, cutting wood etc. I have in my kit-

• Cases or bottles of drinking water. Assume about a gallon per person per day to be safe. Be sure to rotate and use your stock during the year. In addition, it is a good idea to keep old 1 liter soda bottles and fill them with water as the storm approaches.


• MRE (Meals ready to eat) military surplus entrees, peanut butter crackers and cookies. If you don't want to buy and pack food long-term, have a ready supply of granola bars, trail mix, jerkeys and other foods that won't spoil in a separate box from your primary food supply. Simply use and replenish throughout the year like your spare water.


• A coleman type camping stove which runs on gas along with spare gas bottles. (NEVER use a fuel stove in any confined space due to the deadly effect of CO poisoning. Put it outside and cook in the snow.) Instead of pots and pans, I keep simple tinfoil pans you can buy at the store to cook with, eat out of and dispose of. Hot chow not only tastes great when you are freezing, it also does a lot to boost the spirits of everyone else around you.

Clothing and Warmth- Once the power fails, everyone should immediately put on a warm hat, long underwear etc. The loss of body heat is insidious and gradual so the best prevention is to dress quickly to keep what heat you have. Also, everyone should sleep with hats, mittens and socks on even inside their sleeping bags. Layer multiple comforters or blankets beneath the sleeping area to reduce the loss of heat through the floor if you don't have camping mattresses or pads. Ideally, in cold climates everyone in the house should have their own sleeping bag rated to at least 20 degrees.

First Aid- Being cut off and without power can magnify an injury. Our first aid kit includes the following and is ready for action year round. Be sure to check the dates on all supplies and replace as necessary.-

• 2 bottles of hydrogen peroxide.


• 2 bottles of alcohol.


• Medical tape, gauze pads, band aids and bandages.


• Antibacterial ointment.


• Splints and bandages.


• Medical scissors.


• Scalpel and suture kit.


• Large bottle of ibuprofen


• Syrup of Ipecac.


• Imodium.


• 1 gallon household bleach. Great for disinfecting as well as treating water if things get really bad.


• Special Forces medical handbook or other first aid guide.

House Protection- If the power has been off for awhile and things are not looking very rosy, it is always prudent to shut off your water, open the faucets and any drains to empty your pipes. Broken pipes can be enormously expensive in terms of repair and the water damage it can cause. I keep another tub full of general items that would be helpful in any situation.

• Work gloves.


• Firestarter.


• Hatchet and bow saw with spare blade.


• Spare chainsaw oil.


• Gas wrench for shutting off gas supply.


• 550 Parachute Cord (100') for use with tarps.


• Large Tarps (for patching any broken windows or other storm damage)


• Duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape.


• Anti-Freeze for filling toilets if you drain your water system. (NOTE- be extremely careful with this because it is appealing and highly poisonous to both children and pets.)

Communications- Having a source of news and information or just plain old music can be a great benefit when you are bored out of your skull and sitting in a cold, dark house. I keep the following in my kit and keep them separate from the household so nobody plays with them or breaks them before we need them-

• A cheap little AM radio with spare batteries.


• A Grundig crank radio (AM, FM and shortwave.) I love my Grundig and it has performed flawlessly for 8 years. The crank obviously eliminates the need for power or batteries and it even has a small emergency light on it. No brainer for only $ 50.00.


• Make sure you can always find your cell phone car charger. We used our snow bound cars as basically giant cell phone chargers during the storm. You can also buy battery based chargers as well.

Heat Sources- We are fortunate to have a fireplace and if you have one too, half the battle has been won. Be sure to have at least a cord of dried, split wood on hand at all times. I have never trusted kerosene type space heaters and can't recommend them. Regardless of your heat source, a battery powered carbon monoxide detector is mandatory ! Even a seemingly well drafted fireplace can kill you and your family. I have begun to look at generators and it seems like money well spent. Although expensive (around $ 2,000 for a portable model) many of these systems push enough power to run the electrical components of a gas furnace and a light or two. Just be sure to run it outside- a man and his daughter tragically died here in Pittsburgh because he ran the generator in his partially closed garage.

Special Items- Everyone has different needs and issues so take a moment to think about what is critical to your safety if you can't get out of your house for a few days. This means-

• Medicines.


• Baby food, diapers etc. Also, be a humanitarian and store plenty to help out somebody else's baby too.


• Feminine hygiene items.


• Special dietary requirements.

Having the Survival Attitude- Attitude is everything and panic can kill. First off, when the power fails, the snow is blowing sideways and the wind is howling like a jet engine, you need to just take a second and focus. The good news is that most modern homes are insulated well enough that it isn't going to get really cold inside for quite awhile so don't make any rash decisions. During our recent storm, the fire department made the rounds picking up people that wanted to go to public shelters and others attempted to hoof it out on their own. Sheltering in place is usually the best decision if you are prepared. Your family is in familiar surroundings, you can take care of your pets and keep an eye on your property.

Never discount the fact that some creeps will use a disaster situation to their own advantage in terms of theft and violence. Which brings us to the final component of my disaster planning- personal protection. I maintain a rather healthy stock of ammunition as well as two assault rifles. As a Buddhist I would never want to shoot anyone and hopefully the mere threat of use would be enough to keep the wolves away from my door. Owning a firearm is a personal decision and I respect those that do not want weapons in their homes. For those that do, I highly recommend training and certification classes as well as child locks.

To summarize-

1. Make a simple plan with your family and buy your items over time. No need to rush out one weekend and spend thousands of dollars.


2. Keep certain items separate from your household items so that when disaster strikes, they are serviceable and ready to go.


3. Keep a list of everything in your kit so that you can inventory your gear once or twice a year, replace broken or outdated items.


4. Make sure everyone in your family knows the location of the kit and inventory list and the use and operation of all items in it.


5. Relax. With a little simple planning you can ride out the most extreme situations imaginable. Your ancestors did just fine over the past couple of thousand years and you can too.

Riding the Storm Out

We were hit with a bad snowstorm over the weekend that dumped about 23 inches of snow in the Pittsburgh area. That was followed up by another 8 inches last night and more on the way today. Living in Pittsburgh, we are used to a couple of good storms per year and both the population and snow removal crews are generally well equipped to deal with the consequences.

Unfortunately, when it snows as hard as it did during the past storm nobody can keep up with the accumulation and follow-on problems such as accidents, power outages and the general inability to get around. In Pittsburgh, we were also witness to the usual pre-storm hysteria that floods the supermarkets with shoppers looking for milk, eggs and toilet paper.

The local paper quotes Dr. P.V. Nickell, local psychiatrist, who attempted to explain the phenomenon as our "primal fears" which are heightened by media coverage. In one of the more ironic statements I've read in awhile, the paper notes that the good doctor was safe and warm in Tampa and must have done a phone interview while essentially calling his fellow Pittsburghers a bunch of pussies.

We lost power on Friday night and did not regain it until late Saturday night. We were grateful it came back on at all since tens of thousands were still without power as of yesterday. Fortunately, we were prepared in advance for the storm and rode it out in relative comfort. Despite the fact that I like to goof on 2012 conspiracies and Armageddon nuts, I do firmly believe in prudent survival planning for anyone living in this country. As the Katrina tragedy showed, waiting for the government to save your butt is akin to having an insurance policy with a bankrupt insurer. While I highly doubt that Planet X, or Nibiru, or whatever the hell they are calling it these days is going to ram into planet Earth, I am pretty confident that we will be impacted by the more mundane, but far more dangerous occurrences such as hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and blizzards.

Disaster planning is actually pretty simple if you start early enough. The worst time to try to figure out how to survive is when you are smack in the middle of the disaster- sort of like trying to study for a college final 20 minutes before the test. When downed trees, power outages and water advisories hit us over the weekend, we were fully prepared to ride the storm out for up to 14 days if necessary which we knew would be far more than we needed. We were also able to sit out the last minute rush to the stores when the full display of the frightened human animal is shown at its absolute worst- hoarding supplies without concern for others, fighting over scarce resources and being just plain rude. So, I'm going to share some ideas that have worked for me in my own planning and hope to hear some suggestions from others on how they are prepared to care for their families, and others, in a crisis.