05 March 2012

Adios February

Many people have phobias but I think my primary one is among the strangest- I have an intense dread of the month of February. February is a strange month, sort of shoehorned into the calendar and bridging two far happier times of the year. On one side, we move from the holiday months of November and December (here in the U.S.) which abound with family time, good memories and good cheer, and then into January and the hope, joy and optimism of a new year. On the other side of the bridge we have March, with the first hint of Spring, warm weather and blooming trees and flowers which promises sunshine and deliverance from the depths of winter. To get between them, however, I must cross the four week mine strewn bridge known as February.

Ah yes, February. The graveyard of broken New Year Resolutions, boring television and the listless doldrums of the NHL season. Bad things have always happened to me in February- business related, family related you name it. To make it worse this year, the creators of our calendar managed to extend the agony by adding the additional Leap Day. The supposed holidays of the month are a joke, including the rampantly commercialized Valentine's Day and President's Day. I think most Americans would prefer we swapped a day off in February for one in June or August, but who am I to say.

I tried to research a phobia for February but was unsuccessful. Sure, all of the usual suspects were there- spiders, open spaces, Friday the 13th, Newt Gingrich...but I couldn't find one addressing one so broad to 'X" out an entire month of the calendar. Crazy though I may be, if I'm going to have a phobia, I'm going large or going home. So, I spent the night of February 29th drinking a glass of whisky (okay two, or was it three ?) firmly convinced at multiple times that evening that a car would hit my house, or a piece of space debris or a wayward North Korean missile...but nothing happened. February 2012 passed in relative peace. With any luck Mr. February, if the Mayans were right, I'll never have to face you again you miserable bastard.

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